I guess things are not how they used to be
There's no more normal families
Parents act like enemies
Making kids feel like it's world war III
No one cares, no one's there
I guess we're all just too damn busy
Money's our first priority
It doesn't make sense to me
Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody gonna save me?
Can anybody tell me what's going on?
Tell me what's going on
If you open your eyes
You'll see that something is wrong
Not to that extend but still life is fucked up right now. I need a break from all these.. No, not breaking down, not falling down and crying. Just a long break and hiatus from everything else. This is so Screwed.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
Life is Screwed? Suppose so.
Tough times don't last, tough people do.
In short, life sucks with obstacles. It is a challenge indeed, but why?
Am i one of them?
I want to be one of them.
However, it is still within reach.
Schoollife is killing me,
homeworks are choking me,
infomations are suffocating me.
Dying is just a foot away.
It sucks to know that you have no close person to talk to.
Lucky for me, i met two teachers who have constantly been giving me that very hope.
Mr B and Mr Loh.
I hope i'm able to persevere.
If not, i have no idea what is gonna happen,
Retain, dropout, transfer, quit school, poly.
FUCk.
In short, life sucks with obstacles. It is a challenge indeed, but why?
I detest them and they accumulate and build up all the negatives in me.
Why can't teachers just be understanding?
Sometimes i feel like saying, you know, like the fuck it off.
Time won't wait for you. Thats what i've learnt after sleeping in lectures due to being tired.
Missing out on stuffs like never before.
Fantastic life.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Life is? Friends are? Let go.
Finally letting it go. Like said, things that are meant to be yours will return to you if it is meant for.
It is in the morning now, early wee hours rather. I am staying up tonight suppose for the Chinese tradition of Shou Ye. In English term, it is said that on the eve's night till morning the next day, children are supposed to stay up later for blessings for their parents. The later, the better.
I am currently(yes, now) chatting to my two friends, close chums : Dingxuan and Weelun. hhaa, it is interesting how we're talking about the word Life, and our definition of it.
We got on this discussion by chance when Dicky was mentioning how Life is like a circle. Always returning to the same point, being so boring. Things you once did when you were young, showing a repetition once again in your life now.
For a cold joke, dingxuan added in this when i rebutted that his definition of life is so mundane : how is a circle not complicating @@, did geometry proof?
However, he did conclude to us that " no one leads a life that is simple and smooth!" Yes everyone knows that but how many are actually able to comprehend that and blend it into their lives so easily? Doubt many.
It was then my turn. I compared Life to being inside a Maze. Once you were born, you had already entered this Maze. In some parts of life, you thought some things were resolved and done with and the path ahead will be clear for you. Suddenly, you're stuck with an obstacle- resembling a dead end/ mirrored wall- like one encounters in a maze when he is lost. You find a path finally, and then you face another obstacle. You entered a wrong path and have to reverse. Like a repetition of tick tocks as though you're being played. how interesting.
Obama gave one ambiguous definition. Life is like a dream, it is short, so enjoy while we can. Anything can happen, and yet usually things that you do not wish for, happens. I had a reply, how is it that you're able to enjoy when things you do not wish for happens :O.
That was what we discussed for the past hour or so, maybe lesser.
Any, i mentioned about the fear of being in a totally new environment where everyone is no one whom you know in my first blog. I believe for MOST of us, we're having this kind of little teeny-weeny "fear" in us. It is so how interesting that this sort of feeling was not felt when we left our primary school and happily moved onto the next phrase of life, Secondary life. Then, it wasn't felt or didn't have a huge impact as we were still little children and weren't exactly matured. Now, it is a total different thing. We had grown matured, tall, almost in every aspect of life and had been too used to this "comfort zone" of ours like a baby toddler in his crib. Hardly suffered any hardships or been through one. Thus, the result of this.
To some this "As empty vessels make the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest blabbers" might be in your thoughts now, I may sound exaggerated but can you deny that this is not happening to any of your friend? Lets just hope, and the best bet will be that all of us, classmates friends comrades likewise, will still contact each other. The past holidays have already been a good gauge of how "united" friends can be. Heard of "Unity spirit", "class spirit"? Buddies for life? Now do you feel that all those were just mere 'swears' or simply trash? Either which it is the same. Thinking back, i have this mentality now that if 'we' are to be able to have gatherings once in a while, it will be more than good.
Lets break out of this comfort zone we have had for the last 4years and be open to new friends :D
Finally, thinking back, sort of a reminiscence, i feel really guilty for what had happened. Yea but whats done have already been done and can't be undone. Lucky for me that we are starting to chat as friends, should heed jiaqi jie's advise. Muddleheaded am i still. I have no idea what is making me feel so (no idea of expressing it in words). Like when i see you in face, i get the imajerk feeling. Lucky jiaqi had helped me. Thanks ahlian sis.
For the past week and weeks, i have been starting to watch dramas, shows and serials online. Not the typical hardcore chiong-ster type but still, overwatching at times. My serious insomnia is a result of watching the shows :/. Looking forward to watching ShaoLin Sheng Bing, Moonlight Resonance and more mainland dramas soon, soon before my hectic DPA PPP and CDS programme takes off.
I cannot believe this is turning out to be one of my wordiest post!
hereby signing off, yinxian.
It is in the morning now, early wee hours rather. I am staying up tonight suppose for the Chinese tradition of Shou Ye. In English term, it is said that on the eve's night till morning the next day, children are supposed to stay up later for blessings for their parents. The later, the better.
I am currently(yes, now) chatting to my two friends, close chums : Dingxuan and Weelun. hhaa, it is interesting how we're talking about the word Life, and our definition of it.
We got on this discussion by chance when Dicky was mentioning how Life is like a circle. Always returning to the same point, being so boring. Things you once did when you were young, showing a repetition once again in your life now.
For a cold joke, dingxuan added in this when i rebutted that his definition of life is so mundane : how is a circle not complicating @@, did geometry proof?
However, he did conclude to us that " no one leads a life that is simple and smooth!" Yes everyone knows that but how many are actually able to comprehend that and blend it into their lives so easily? Doubt many.
It was then my turn. I compared Life to being inside a Maze. Once you were born, you had already entered this Maze. In some parts of life, you thought some things were resolved and done with and the path ahead will be clear for you. Suddenly, you're stuck with an obstacle- resembling a dead end/ mirrored wall- like one encounters in a maze when he is lost. You find a path finally, and then you face another obstacle. You entered a wrong path and have to reverse. Like a repetition of tick tocks as though you're being played. how interesting.
Obama gave one ambiguous definition. Life is like a dream, it is short, so enjoy while we can. Anything can happen, and yet usually things that you do not wish for, happens. I had a reply, how is it that you're able to enjoy when things you do not wish for happens :O.
That was what we discussed for the past hour or so, maybe lesser.
Any, i mentioned about the fear of being in a totally new environment where everyone is no one whom you know in my first blog. I believe for MOST of us, we're having this kind of little teeny-weeny "fear" in us. It is so how interesting that this sort of feeling was not felt when we left our primary school and happily moved onto the next phrase of life, Secondary life. Then, it wasn't felt or didn't have a huge impact as we were still little children and weren't exactly matured. Now, it is a total different thing. We had grown matured, tall, almost in every aspect of life and had been too used to this "comfort zone" of ours like a baby toddler in his crib. Hardly suffered any hardships or been through one. Thus, the result of this.
To some this "As empty vessels make the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest blabbers" might be in your thoughts now, I may sound exaggerated but can you deny that this is not happening to any of your friend? Lets just hope, and the best bet will be that all of us, classmates friends comrades likewise, will still contact each other. The past holidays have already been a good gauge of how "united" friends can be. Heard of "Unity spirit", "class spirit"? Buddies for life? Now do you feel that all those were just mere 'swears' or simply trash? Either which it is the same. Thinking back, i have this mentality now that if 'we' are to be able to have gatherings once in a while, it will be more than good.
Lets break out of this comfort zone we have had for the last 4years and be open to new friends :D
Finally, thinking back, sort of a reminiscence, i feel really guilty for what had happened. Yea but whats done have already been done and can't be undone. Lucky for me that we are starting to chat as friends, should heed jiaqi jie's advise. Muddleheaded am i still. I have no idea what is making me feel so (no idea of expressing it in words). Like when i see you in face, i get the imajerk feeling. Lucky jiaqi had helped me. Thanks ahlian sis.
For the past week and weeks, i have been starting to watch dramas, shows and serials online. Not the typical hardcore chiong-ster type but still, overwatching at times. My serious insomnia is a result of watching the shows :/. Looking forward to watching ShaoLin Sheng Bing, Moonlight Resonance and more mainland dramas soon, soon before my hectic DPA PPP and CDS programme takes off.
I cannot believe this is turning out to be one of my wordiest post!
hereby signing off, yinxian.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
O's, Love.
Received the O's results almost a week back. I am very thankful and utterly grateful for the grades. Previously, my prelims were screwed fucking badly with L1R4 17 and L1R5 being 23. Still, i didn't study much for my O's other than concentrating on languages, Amaths and Geography, thus i didnt hold much hopes.
Initially my target for english was B3 and it turned out to be a distinction and my combine humanities shocked me. Perhaps its like what mrGoh and Dicky had told me, humanities subjs cannot be studied, rather, they are ideas being comprehended and reiterated. So true.
The disappointing part comes for me Amaths. Didnt get an A1 despite redoing the TYS maybe twice :(
Rather thankful that i achieved r4 of 8 and r5 of 11.
Yes man, MrHafeez is GREAT.so is Madam Yow, Mdm Tay, Mr Goh ! Without them, the aces wouldnt even have been a reality. Screw Ms Lee. The teacher who never fail to be sarcastic? :D
Those who might chance upon this blog might wonder, "hey, why is yinxian not posting this on his public blog?". The answer is because just as i have friends and chums, there are people who detest me and might just think that i am boasting for had i blogged this in YX1.bs. Thus, it will be a safer bet to blog about it here.
Considering my scores, its considerable good. What if i am rather inclined towards academics? I fail at my own relationship. If you'd ask me, i rather i had done better at relationships rather than academically. Sounds stupid but i can't go anywhere even with my grades.
A little too not over you is almost a reflection of the situation i am in.
Tell me why
You're so hard to forget
Don't remind me
I'm not over it
Tell me why
I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you
An empty nut case i am at relations.
A positive note : Do not care about holding onto it as long as you've had it once.
But somehow, not everything as easy as saying. I can say i want to give up a thousand times, forget everything a million, know nothing about you a quintillion. It is whether i really feel it that way :O.
Not sure of you, dont think i do stand any chance. People have been telling me to forget the thought and give it up. I'm somehow psyched but i can't seem to. Just not so easy getting someone you love out of your life huh.
Phone has a wallpaper of you, Blogskin has you, my cardholder is from you, a card you gave my in my second cardholder. Things arent easy..
You're at Japan now. Wonder at times whether i should give you a text to see how you're at there. Whether you're having fun with the snow, shopping, scenery sightings and everything. Yet i am afraid its just that stupid thought of mine. Doubt i will receive replies, even if i do get it, so what. Sometimes things make us go numb.
I thought, maybe when the posting results are out, both of us might not even contact, going on our own separate paths. From there you might meet new friends, new guys who might be even better to you than i did. So maybe i might just lift off the thought once school start. Dragging things without any results isnt doing any better. What your mum said could be right, our personalities clash badly that its tough for us to be.
For this portion, it will be about friendships :O. I can't believe that i actually have to post about this. To a large extent, i feel that he was overboard by accusing me as a Fucker when i did not even know he took an interest for a girl whom my close mate as well, loved. However, thinking further, yes indeed, love makes one jealous, who can deny that? Therefore i chose not to be agitated and i never did get angry over that matter. Love is just a too serious cause for everything.
My dear friends, do peace out. 4E4 is already separated is to so many different cliques that even when we have FULL CLASS GATHERINGS, only about 1/2 turn up. If even our 4e4 boy's clique fail to even be Bonded or United in the sense, hey, whats becoming of us? A Class of 5or10? I am pretty sure none will want to see that becoming a reality the next time a class gathering is held. I understand both your situations, two close friends love the same girl and both do not want to hurt the friendship over it. But it DID hurt.
I believe the only thing to do now if you both love her, is to continue wooing but both of you be friends like before. Respect whatever decisions she make and know that Love can't be forced. Afterall, if you do love someone, it isnt a matter of being together with her but knowing that she is happy even with someone else. It hurts but love is this, self-sacrificing. Isn't it? I could be wrong, nevertheless, thats what i think and my 2cents.
Initially my target for english was B3 and it turned out to be a distinction and my combine humanities shocked me. Perhaps its like what mrGoh and Dicky had told me, humanities subjs cannot be studied, rather, they are ideas being comprehended and reiterated. So true.
The disappointing part comes for me Amaths. Didnt get an A1 despite redoing the TYS maybe twice :(
Rather thankful that i achieved r4 of 8 and r5 of 11.
Yes man, MrHafeez is GREAT.so is Madam Yow, Mdm Tay, Mr Goh ! Without them, the aces wouldnt even have been a reality. Screw Ms Lee. The teacher who never fail to be sarcastic? :D
Those who might chance upon this blog might wonder, "hey, why is yinxian not posting this on his public blog?". The answer is because just as i have friends and chums, there are people who detest me and might just think that i am boasting for had i blogged this in YX1.bs. Thus, it will be a safer bet to blog about it here.
Considering my scores, its considerable good. What if i am rather inclined towards academics? I fail at my own relationship. If you'd ask me, i rather i had done better at relationships rather than academically. Sounds stupid but i can't go anywhere even with my grades.
A little too not over you is almost a reflection of the situation i am in.
Tell me why
You're so hard to forget
Don't remind me
I'm not over it
Tell me why
I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you
An empty nut case i am at relations.
A positive note : Do not care about holding onto it as long as you've had it once.
But somehow, not everything as easy as saying. I can say i want to give up a thousand times, forget everything a million, know nothing about you a quintillion. It is whether i really feel it that way :O.
Not sure of you, dont think i do stand any chance. People have been telling me to forget the thought and give it up. I'm somehow psyched but i can't seem to. Just not so easy getting someone you love out of your life huh.
Phone has a wallpaper of you, Blogskin has you, my cardholder is from you, a card you gave my in my second cardholder. Things arent easy..
You're at Japan now. Wonder at times whether i should give you a text to see how you're at there. Whether you're having fun with the snow, shopping, scenery sightings and everything. Yet i am afraid its just that stupid thought of mine. Doubt i will receive replies, even if i do get it, so what. Sometimes things make us go numb.
I thought, maybe when the posting results are out, both of us might not even contact, going on our own separate paths. From there you might meet new friends, new guys who might be even better to you than i did. So maybe i might just lift off the thought once school start. Dragging things without any results isnt doing any better. What your mum said could be right, our personalities clash badly that its tough for us to be.
For this portion, it will be about friendships :O. I can't believe that i actually have to post about this. To a large extent, i feel that he was overboard by accusing me as a Fucker when i did not even know he took an interest for a girl whom my close mate as well, loved. However, thinking further, yes indeed, love makes one jealous, who can deny that? Therefore i chose not to be agitated and i never did get angry over that matter. Love is just a too serious cause for everything.
My dear friends, do peace out. 4E4 is already separated is to so many different cliques that even when we have FULL CLASS GATHERINGS, only about 1/2 turn up. If even our 4e4 boy's clique fail to even be Bonded or United in the sense, hey, whats becoming of us? A Class of 5or10? I am pretty sure none will want to see that becoming a reality the next time a class gathering is held. I understand both your situations, two close friends love the same girl and both do not want to hurt the friendship over it. But it DID hurt.
I believe the only thing to do now if you both love her, is to continue wooing but both of you be friends like before. Respect whatever decisions she make and know that Love can't be forced. Afterall, if you do love someone, it isnt a matter of being together with her but knowing that she is happy even with someone else. It hurts but love is this, self-sacrificing. Isn't it? I could be wrong, nevertheless, thats what i think and my 2cents.
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